Impacting Generations: the Work of Motherhood

We’d just finished showering, the (then) two-year-old and me, when I reached for the towel bar. Unfortunately, since I hadn’t planned in advance for our dual exit from the hot, steamy shower into the frigid, meat locker that was our bathroom in winter, my hands met with one dry towel and one damp one (left over from someone else’s solitary shower a few minutes earlier).

In a split second decision, I grabbed the dry cloth first and wrapped it around my little one’s pink, naked body. Then, I proceeded to use the chilly, wet towel on myself. Working in high speed, I figured I could whisk away enough water from my limbs to stave off hypothermia.

Once this step was accomplished, I was forced to tip-toe across the icy tile floor to get from the bathroom mat to the laundry room rug (because again my morning brain hadn’t thought to have our clean clothes lying at the ready.)

Naked Turtle

Searching for another clean towel to secure around my dripping head, I opened the dryer and was pleasantly surprised to discover the green towel twisted up between the jeans and socks was still heated. Reaching in, I’d just begun to fantasize about swaddling myself in the toasty fabric when the toddler caught my attention. He’d followed my footsteps, thrown his towel on the tile and curled himself like a naked turtle at my feet.

Of course, I could have simply re-wrapped him in his own towel since he was already 99% dry (a benefit of having just had a hair cut). I could have dug his pint-sized sweater and jeans out of the laundry basket and had him dressed in a flash just after wrapping that luxurious swath of heated fabric around my head.

Weighing the Options

My hand hesitated in that dryer drum for a minute as I weighed my options, but then I grabbed hold and bent down to place the toasty cloth around that sweet, junior-sized body below me. Watching my toddler wriggle in delight was almost enough to raise my internal temperature above freezing.

We all love to hear about some random act of kindness: the cop who gave a homeless man a pair of shoes, the lady at the grocery store who paid the single mom’s bill, or the stranger in the drive-through who left an extra $20 to cover the tab of the car behind his.

Greater Impact

Kindness, generosity, and sacrifice are honorable traits that garner our attention in a world where impatience and incivility seem epidemic. Yet as much as I applaud the spotlight shone on those out-of-the-ordinary acts of charity, I think we, parents, can make the greater impact.

No, I’m not suggesting we pat ourselves on the back every time we go the extra mile for our kids, but we should recognize that our choices and actions do shape the hearts and minds of our children. And, by extension, those hearts and minds will shape the world.

Work of Motherhood

Learning to “Pay It Forward” begins at home when our kids spy us sharing that last piece of cake, putting our last $20 in the poor box, making do with our ragged shoes a little longer while buying a new pair for our child. Teaching children to share with a sibling, to help with household chores, or to postpone a want for a need are steps toward forming a person with right priorities and an awareness of others.

Honestly, my toddler would have been none the wiser if I’d chosen the dryer towel for myself. He would have happily paraded around the room regardless. But therein lies the gift and challenge of the work of motherhood. It’s the moment-to-moment situations that allow us to place ourselves second for the benefit of someone else. Our countless, random acts of loving lay the groundwork for the better world we’re all so eager to be a part of.

With Some Distance...

When I wrote this, I was elbows deep in full-time mothering, as a stay-at-home, home-schooling mama of 8 children. I’ve learned a few things since then.

Namely, time has freed me from the belief that I control the outcomes of my actions. I don’t. Sometimes, the end results don’t turn out as expected, or hoped for.

Children (and everyone else) own their lives. And the things I thought I was doing well, are, at times, viewed by them through a very different lens. That’s okay.

My intentions are mine to keep. I sleep soundly with them at night. And, whether seen or unseen, they’ve had a positive impact (on me and on them).

The work of motherhood is both challenging and rewarding.